Of all the many questions we get asked, this has to be a front runner. It's completely understandable. After all, you have sat with these challenging feelings for longer than feels comfortable, finally plucked up the courage to seek help, maybe spending time scrolling through the profiles of therapists online, or asking for recommendations, making an appointment, then what? Is this complete stranger with their qualifications and training going to go deep straight away? Ask you to describe your most challenging memories, your most distressing thoughts, your most intense fears before you have even had time to take off your coat? What will this therapist think of you, will they be able to help, will they take you seriously?
I think almost every client I've ever seen had these worries, and more. It's completely natural after all, and your therapist will expect there to be some anxiety about the therapeutic process. So, lets take a trip through what might happen in a first session with me. I can't speak for all therapists of course, but I reckon we all follow a similar patter.
You'll be greeted in the waiting room, and we'll go through to my room where there are various chairs, and I'll ask you to pick whichever looks most comfortable. Don't worry, I'm not analysing the response! Some people prefer hard chairs, some soft, closer to the window, further away, I'm giving you as much control and choice as I possibly can. I'll invite you to get comfortable, ask if your journey was okay, and if you'd like a drink. All that done, I'll introduce myself again, and ask if you've ever seen a psychologist or counsellor before. I'm interested to know for lots of reasons, but in the very beginning, I want to be sure you know the very basic commitment of therapy, and that is this:
This is your space. We can talk about anything you want to, and we wont talk about anything you don't want to. If you're over the age of 18, I wont tell anyone what we talk about unless you ask me to. Not your partner, not your parents, not your boss, anyone, with two exceptions. One is if you tell me someone is going to get hurt. If you do, I have to try to help that person. We can talk about how we will help them, but I am duty bound to do something. The other is I might bring something to supervision. In the UK all Clinical Psychologists have regular supervision. It's a fantastic process where we can share therapeutic successes and questions with another Clinical Psychologist to whom we can look for guidance, ideas, inspiration, or alternative perspectives. I wouldn't use your name and would keep personal details very vague, so my supervisor wouldn't have any idea who you are.
This out the way, I might ask a question like this. "When your time here is done, and you leave, how will you know it has been a really successful and helpful experience? What will be different?". You might not know, or might have a really clear vision, it doesn't matter, either way I'm drawing a picture in my mind of where you might want to get to, what you might want to change. I might ask some more questions around that, or maybe you will take the lead, there is really no "right way" to proceed. I'm learning about you, your goals, and what's getting in the way, what's going well, what isn't, and together, we'll use this to make a plan on how to get there. It's a journey we'll take together, and every step of the way, you will be in control of everything until you tell me that you've got there. You've arrived at your goal.
Have you got more questions about what happens in therapy? Get in touch!
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