Welcome to my blog series, where I will discuss therapy from a client's viewpoint. It's important to mention that, while my insights are drawn from extensive experience with clients from various backgrounds, all individuals, names, personas, businesses, locations, occurrences, and events depicted are entirely fictional. Any similarity to real-life individuals, living or deceased, or actual events is purely coincidental.
In any therapeutic journey, a goal should always be the clients ability to rely on themselves to manage any emotional state that may arise. Brad, who had served in the armed forces, had started attending therapy with symptoms of anxiety and low mood following a recent deployment. "I would love to just get rid of anxiety from my life, never experience it again, and go back to being the careless teenager I once was. But it's not realistic is it?" he sighed. "Even as a teenager I'm sure I worried about things - the fella I fancied, school, being invited to the right party. But this anxiety, it feels overwhelming. I mean I can go to war, lead my team, but my thoughts? They stop me in my tracks and leave me utterly incapable. I hate it. "
Developing emotion regulation skills starts when we are children. We observe and learn from those around us, and create our own ways of managing emotions when they come up. But sometimes we find that the techniques that served us for so long are not keeping the tide of symptoms at bay, leaving us feeling lost, overwhelmed, and sometimes searching for other, unhealthier techniques to manage. "I know I am drinking too much, my partner tells me all the time, but what else can I do?" Brad explained "At night, after a day of trying my best to hold it together, it's just all too much. I need to do something or I'd go mad".
Leaning self-care and emotion regulation techniques is often a starting block of therapy, helping clients like Brad feel a bit more in control. Common techniques can include mindfulness, mind-body connection, and learning how to identify, express and process emotions healthily.
Mindfulness techniques seem to be everywhere nowadays. Studies have shown that mindfulness can regulate emotions, lessen stress and improve focus. Apps such as Headspace, Calm, Smiling Mind and Insight Timer all offer guided practices that can form helpful parts of our daily routines. Studies have also shown us that trauma can impact on the mind-body link and our stress response, so activities such as stretching, mindful walking, yoga or Pilates can also aid healing.
Activities such as journaling, and creative outlets such as drawing can help us find the space to notice emotional states when they arise. Noticing the subtle changes in emotional state can be challenging, especially if it not a practice we are used to, however, from there we can form strategies to process them in a way that seems safe and non-overwhelming, increasing our sense of control. Setting healthy boundaries with ourselves and others increases supports emotional health by creating safe, supportive environments. Self-awareness through personal reflection enhances these skills, and allows us to grow, even in the aftermath of trauma. Brad: "I take 30 minutes in the evening now to walk the dog, and just reflect on how I'm feeling. I know I can come home and tell my partner how I'm feeling with honesty and openness, and that he welcomes that. In turn, I feel supported and heard, and don't have to go to battle, alone and unsupported, in my mind.
Of course, seeking professional and community support can always provide validation and tools for managing emotional responses so that rising emotion can be noticed and held in a way that does not threaten to overwhelm us. Working with a therapist skilled in trauma using evidence-based methods, like EMDR or cognitive therapies, will assist with processing traumatic experiences safely. If you have any questions, or would like to know more, please do get in touch.
Please note that Brad's story is entirely fictional, inspired by my years of working with adolescents and adults. The information about mental health, psychological therapy, and recovery from trauma is entirely based on current evidence-based knowledge and guidelines. Images are created using AI. If you would like more information or support please contact myself or any of the organisations listed on the Contact tab.
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